It’s almost a year since I married Steve and I always intended to publish a few personal moments of our day; it’s just taken me a while to do this! We live on this earth for such a short period of time and I wanted to make sure that there is a place where my important people can find a part of me; my inner thoughts and ramblings.
My wedding speech…
I’m not a big believer of “falling” in love and Steve was never going to get married again! Yet here we all are.
You see, I have always believed that you don’t FALL in love; you CHOOSE to love someone in the same way that you can also decide NOT to love someone, it’s not a passive action. I chose to love Steve because he accepted everything that I am, and everything that I have, and everything that I don’t have. Most importantly for me, he accepted my children and they, even more importantly they accepted him.
When we were first together, Steve put in a massive effort coming to see me almost every weekend and little by little gaining my trust and becoming part of the very tight unit that was me, Emma & Matt. Steve makes me feel safe, he considers my thoughts & feelings he doesn’t dismiss my worries or my concerns, he helps me solve problems… and when you’ve been on your own for a very long time you get quite good at solving problems! But it’s lovely to have someone who is prepared to share not just the easy stuff but the difficult stuff too!
Steve will be the first to say that I am so very reticent in letting him know my feelings, I’m quite “self-contained” and I know this frustrates him at times. But, Steve, I’m here, I married YOU today and that’s because I really do love you, I love everything that you bring to my life (maybe with one exception – the eagle)!
Some of the lasting memories preparing for our wedding day revolve round shopping for outfits; hijacking my mum from painting & decorating with the excuse we were going to see Emma for a bit and MAKING her try on outfits, you see Emma’s quite bossy & Grandma finds it harder to refuse her than she does me! Emma made me try on stuff too – for my dress, I had a list of “don’t wants”, well Emma she just ignored that and picked this one for me (thank you Mum & Walt).
I even enjoyed shopping for Matt’s suit and seeing how grown up & confident he has become, I liked that he turned Steve for guidance in fit and how to wear a suit, that gave me a great deal of pleasure. You would have thought that shopping for the bridesmaid’s dresses with Emma, Elizabeth & Francesca would have been difficult – three opinionated (in the nicest way) young women – they didn’t have restriction on colour or style but they worked so well together, supporting each other and choosing together. It really was a lovely day.
In contrast – shopping for Steve was the most difficult and challenging and I am just going to leave that there!
Just a few final words from me…I have been touched by everyone’s generosity in sharing their skills with us, and I have been overwhelmed by your enthusiasm to take part in making our day so special, in particular, Citi (flowers) & Rachael (photos) and my sister Caroline (artwork). Whilst on that note, I have a little something for you Steve…
(SOMEONE GETS THE GIFT)
Whilst that’s happening I just want to say how happy I am today and thank you to everyone for coming and sharing this special day, but mostly thank you to Emma & Matt, you are both so incredible for embracing all the changes in my life & I love you very much indeed.
Steve, just remember love is a “decision”. Not just a feeling. And I have decided that I want to love you for the rest of my life.