Joining the Dots

or 10 Things I Have Learned

1. I am more youthful in mind than I thought I was- it seems that so many people my age have grandchildren and I haven’t even finished bringing up my own children yet! What I am looking forward to now is finding opportunities to do more things for me.

2. I have regrets about my formal education- I wish I had taken it further. A road accident at 15, time in ICU, and lack support from teachers whist I was in recovery led to a heavy going final year of school. I achieved good results and left school on a Friday and started work the next Monday. I thought that was good at the time.

3. I still want to obtain some qualifications in counselling- This is something that I have wanted to do for a long time but other more important responsibilities have taken priority. I like teenagers (yes, I know, odd huh?) and would ideally like to find a role supporting them in some way. I’ve taken the first steps, just a short introductory course, but it’s a start.

4. Travel- I would like to do much more travelling. I do seem to feel pangs of jealousy when my daughter can just pack and go. I love hearing her stories and especially when she starts a sentence ‘You would have loved…’. So having travelled to New York last year our adventures continue to Bali later this year. I even catch myself thinking “Where next?”.

5. I have a strong lioness instinct- now this only surfaces when my children are threatened, hurting, in danger or ill. But it’s there and she roars from time to time. Don’t test this.

6. You can’t hold on to someone if they want to leave- and neither should you. There have been many drawbacks to becoming divorced, but there have been many pleasures too. I am grateful that my last and only partner since my divorce really showed me what it meant to be loved and I am very grateful for the close bond that I now have with my children.

7. I am introverted (INFJ)– being introverted is nothing to do with being shy and nothing to do with being anti-social. It does mean that I need time alone to recharge. Socially, for me, small groups of close friends are better. Small talk doesn’t interest me and I can become bored easily. I much prefer to discuss opinions, thoughts and feelings.

8. I don’t like cheese- I have never liked cheese, someone asked me recently “why don’t you like cheese?”. This falls into the small talk category above. I don’t know why! Does it even matter why? The smell of it makes me heave and I am old enough now to know my own mind about my likes and dislikes. I don’t need to keep trying things (or trying to do things) that I know I don’t like.

9. Things won’t change unless I make change- no matter how overwhelming the challenge is there is always something that I can do to effect change. I often feel so much more empowered if I can just make one small step towards how I would like things to be. Our outside world is a result of our collective consciousness and  it can feel overwhelming at times in a world full of evil and vile acts, but if you want things to change you have to start small. Really small.

10. You can’t always join the dots- sometimes it looks like there are dead ends. Start again on a different route. Or more accurately “You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.” ~Steve Jobs