So despite telling myself emphatically that I would not return to the world of internet dating, I have done so.
It has taken a build-up of weeks and a gentle push from a friend for me to do this. The first step was writing my profile. I find expressing myself on paper relatively easy WHEN I have the right inspiration but in this case I was certainly lacking. I kept my blurb short & sweet with a view to expanding it if or when I become more comfortable with the idea.
In the meantime, if they want to know more, they will have to ask!
In the interest of keeping a sense of humour about all of this I shall share with you a few snippets of a conversation that ultimately led to me hitting the send button on this ‘adventure’.
On taking the plunge: They are your rules to make.
On casual shagging: It’s a bit like eating crisps; you really fancy them, they’re good while they last, then ultimately they are unsatisfying and best forgotten. (I haven’t got the time or the inclination for that.)
On grammar and poor choice of words in some profiles: Dominant? Or dominate? I’ve just choked on my tea (either way it means ‘deploy barge pole’).
On appropriate response to inappropriate suggestions: Send a message to him immediately- You disgust me you repellent arsehole, no wonder you are single.
So we all know that I like a man who smells nice and since the internet hasn’t yet identified a way to determine this, these are some of my first thoughts:
- It feels like catalogue shopping.
- I can’t get past a profile that doesn’t use at least some basic punctuation.
- Why post a photograph in which you are not smiling or at least hinting at a smile, Mona Lisa style?
- Why post a photograph in front of a fast car? ‘That don’t impress me much’ – Shania Twain
- Why post a photograph in SPEEDOS?
And finally for the moment, I totally dismiss anyone who hasn’t taken the time to hit ‘rotate’ on their photograph.
I don’t understand the need to have identical hobbies, likes & dislikes. People are interesting, I like interesting people. They don’t have to like the same food as me, or have the same taste in music. I don’t want a clone of me. I want someone to complement me (compliments are nice too). In my experience the best guarantee of any relationship, be it romantic or otherwise, is a basic moral similarity and values that are harmonious. <This may have to go in my profile.
No. Wait. Before you go. One more thing… I have been categorised by my income, job and ambition and other personal statistics and that is fine except for the fact I am so much more than that. It will be interesting to see what happens next.
Wish me luck!
13 thoughts on “Looking Into the Eyes of Strangers”
Good luck and play safe!
Without a doubt I will do. Promise.
Lots and lots of luck 🍀🍀🍀! I totally agree about the spelling and punctuation unless he’s had the guts to admit he’s dyslexic! As for not smiling he’s maybe self conscious about his teeth. (I found it very difficult to smile in photos for that reason until I hit 50 and just thought “sod it, who cares?”
I don’t envy you this. It does seem like catalogue shopping but it’s difficult for it not to be. You have already been very brave. Just see if you want it to go anywhere. That’s the beauty, that you can do, or not, whatever you like.
I did really enjoy “deploys bargepole”. Fingers crossed that you find someone who deserves you.
This is an exercise in my faith in humanity. At the moment I am barely resisting my run & hide reflex.
I do hope you find a pair of friendly eyes Jane! And avoid the cheese and onion eaters!
Good luck! Very funny post – I’ll never look at crisps in the same way again!
Thank you, some of the innuendos from my friends got much worse!
I’ve had the same questions when I tried online dating. Guess, I’ll go back to stalking the grocery aisles.
I’m persevering, oh it was bad to start with! I have now swapped to a paid site where there is more of a trickle feed of ‘matches’ and exchange of information seems more civilised. We shall see.
Good luck with it. Looking forward to reading more of your posts.
I’ve tried online dating a few different times/sites. It does feel a lot like catalog shopping, which is the biggest reason I don’t like it. With that said, I hope you like it better and good luck!
It is very bizarre when you think about it that way. Whatever the outcome, it’s sure to be an experience!