Pebbles

“I know not how I may seem to others, but to myself I am but a small child wandering upon the vast shores of knowledge, every now and then finding a small bright pebble to content myself with” Plato

I gave a compliment to a friend a little while ago and added the following codicil ‘You can deflect it if you like but it’s my opinion and you will have to respect it’.

In turn she bounced it back with ‘One day I will describe you as I see you- just so you know’ and then followed that with my own words ‘You can deflect it if you like but it’s my opinion and you will have to respect it (someone very wise and dear to me told me that)’.

It’s true; we find it impossible to see ourselves as others do!

Are you aware of the Johari window? Give people the opportunity to anonymously tell you how they view you, yeah that’s scary! I am still mentally processing the results of this task, but it has strengthened me.

So ******, to me you are:

Complex –

In a way that there is no standard definition. To me you are interesting, layered, intriguing, fascinating, beautifully complex.

Loving –

I was going to say powerful because to me being loving is the most powerful thing you can be. I chose loving instead because powerful has some negative connotations these days. Being loving changes lives, not by force, rules and regulations, laws and instructions but by consistency, example and faith in others. Like a river slowly smoothing pebbles, gently and irreversibly.

Warm –

Like hot chocolate on a cold day. I would say like fruit tea, but I know you would see through that as the tease that is most certainly is. What’s the point of tea if it contains no actual tea, right? Warm and comforting, but no marshmallows or cream because you’re not sickly at all.

Wise –

Wise enough to know that you are fragile. Wise enough to be strong for others. Wise enough to be humble in knowledge. Wise enough to hang on in there.

Silly –

I had to include this one, because you make me laugh so much over such silly things. I tried and tried to write about the laughter over the ‘getting laid’* incident because I wanted to capture my feelings at having been able to laugh at the silliest of things. I wanted to hold on to how good it felt to laugh randomly and inappropriately, to lose all decorum just because the thought of our conversation popped back into my head.

Brave –

Because despite all that life has thrown at you, you are still here and I am so grateful for that and to know you now.

I haven’t known her for very long but I have been changed by knowing her. We have had long and late conversations some silly, some serious, some deep and some not so! As a whole she has made me think, particularly about the way that my ex-husband treats me.

When I met her, I felt that I already knew her and this has made me question and probe my own beliefs and foundations. Through conversation, and something that I wrote about here, it transpired that we nearly met a few years ago, well nearly ten years to be more precise.

Words by KnotTheMeYouSee (@tanglesofme). Photo taken on the last day spent with Jon trying to see who was the most effective King Canute.

This led me to wonder are we always destined to meet the people we meet. What do you think?

If I had met her then, would the connection have been as strong? I doubt it. If I had met my partner at a different time would our love story have a different ending?

*Getting laid has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with a new floor.